She is frustrated! What woman wouldn’t be? He would rather relax and watch tv, instead of helping her with the dishes. A couple pots and pans strategically banged together…exaggerated sigh, and then- The Look! Unfortunately, that was not enough to encourage him to get into the kitchen and help her! So she chooses to become vocal. Finally, he offers to help (solely out of frustration of her “nagging” him). This is where the scene explodes! This is where she shares her true frustration that she is upset because he does not want to WANT to do the dishes! Welcome to the Willing Wife Life Proverbs 31 series.
As a romantic comedy, we can all get a good laugh of how this scene is played out! And I am sure many of us can relate! If you have been following along with my Wife Life series, you know that I only speak to wives. (If you are curious as to why you will want to read my blog post Marriage Happiness Scale: Owning your 100%. Where I share how we are not responsible for anyone’s actions/roles besides our own.) So although I understand this wife’s point of view, I know that a wife of noble character would have handled it differently. She would have been a willing wife!
“She seeks wool and flax,
and willingly works with her hands.” Proverbs 31:13 NKJV
As I was studying this specific verse, I started to look into wool and flax! Thinking there was something special about her selecting it to work with. However, after searching, I found there was nothing special about it! The beauty in this verse is not about what she is working with. It is about her being willing to work with her hands in mundane responsibilities! Her worth is exceeding rubies because she has a different perspective and attitude about daily duties. This right here would be a real wife goal!
Now I am not about to get into what home responsibilities are women and men’s. I believe that is indeed up to the couple. However, whatever roles we fall into or agree upon, it is essential to do them willingly! I am sure you have people that come to mind when you consider asking for help. Those that you would ask (because of their willingness), and others you would avoid like the plague (because of their unwillingness). You do not want to be the wife whose husband avoids asking her for help, or feels like he has to walk on eggshells every time she is completing a daily responsibility.
I was thinking about the wife in the Proverbs 31 passage. During her time she did not have the convenience of a dishwasher, vacuum, washing machine, pizza delivery or Amazon Prime! And yet she was willing (NIV uses the word “eager”) to complete the responsibilities that needed to be done! I bet her husband thought she was a breath of fresh air!
You could be in a relationship where your husband does the majority of the housework, 50% of the housework, rarely does housework, or does not even know what housework is! But no matter what his involvement is, we still control our approach to the responsibilities that we take on, and our reaction the responsibilities we do not want to do.
What to do?
Now if you have unwillingness for responsibilities merely because they are not your favorite, my post “The Not So Leave It To Beaver Wife” is for you! It gives insights into how I handle responsibilities that I am not crazy about, using my 5 step strategy. (That can be used on pretty much anything.)
But, if all of a sudden you do not have a willingness to complete certain daily duties, you might consider a heart check. Daily responsibilities are not “fun.” But when you feel bitterness creeping in and start to lose your willingness, you will want to refocus.
Chances were when you were a newlywed, you did your daily tasks willingly because you wanted to out of love. Being a willing wife came naturally! Skip past the honeymoon phase, and now it is a comparison game to who does what. That is toxic, and you will want to get away from this mindset. You might try asking yourself these 3 questions!
#1 What bugs me so much about having to do it?
#2 What is a different (more positive) point of view I could have?
#3 Could it be done in a different way or at a different time so that I could do it with a more willing heart?
I hope this blog post was helpful in some way as you reflect to see where you are in your willing wife journey! Leaving you with a thought for your day:
How could living the willing wife life positively impact my marriage?
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